Oh! Weird...

At work, while using the restroom, I noticed that some of my...

Thu, 07 Apr 2011 16:00:50 -0700

At work, while using the restroom, I noticed that some of my fellow co-workers have an incredible wiping method. Listen in and learn.

Edward Sausage Hands

Mon, 01 Nov 2010 14:29:43 -0700

Edward Sausage Hands:

Just the other day, I ripped my pants and was looking for a tailor. Lucky for me, someone referred me to Edward’s tailor and alteration shop in Mountain View California. As I went in to get my pants fixed Edward recommended I put the pants on so he could measure the appropriate fixes that needed to be made.

At this point I think there is nothing extraordinary out of this situation… that is until her started placing his measuring tape in my crotch area…

The first thing that I notices where his fingers worked very slowly, and methodically. I knew right away that this guy had being doing this kinda thing his whole life. He asked me to spread my legs a big for a better look. As he placed his thumb and index finger on the side of my thigh, holding down one end of the measuring tape, he took and worked the measuring up and in my crotch to the other end. It was something I had never in my life experienced before. His touch was firm, yet careful. His fingers looked very strong, yet felt so delicate.

As I looked down, it was then that I saw his green eyes staring into mine. I couldn’t help but feel a sleepy trance take over my body, and at the same time feel extremely alarmed.

Stay tuned for the remainder of my visit to Edward Sausage Hands.

I had to do something about the boogs being wiped on the wall.

Thu, 06 May 2010 11:33:53 -0700

I had to do something about the boogs being wiped on the wall.

How not to buy something from craigslist.

Tue, 20 Apr 2010 11:30:24 -0700

Recently I have decided to sell my bike on craigslist. Here is the following emails I got and my response.

Cisco says… “neant thsome cheapth!!

Fri, 16 Apr 2010 13:12:17 -0700

Cisco says… “neant thsome cheapth!!

Safes? Locks? Nope. My grandfather prefers just rubber bands.

Wed, 24 Mar 2010 10:02:26 -0700

Safes? Locks? Nope. My grandfather prefers just rubber bands.

Dump Sneak.

Tue, 02 Mar 2010 21:18:15 -0800

Dump Sneak.

Broken badge retractor

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 12:57:00 -0800

Broken badge retractor

Weird Chat Transcript

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 15:06:24 -0800

2:44:00 PM Brad Wrage: hey Chip head
2:44:03 PM Brad Wrage: what are you doing?
2:50:43 PM James Edmondson: ahhhhh im not chip head!
2:50:49 PM Brad Wrage: yes you are
2:50:55 PM James Edmondson: you’re right!!!!
2:57:12 PM Brad Wrage: nyant some chepth?
3:04:25 PM Brad Wrage: ?
3:04:50 PM James Edmondson: no i don’t nyant any chepth

Last night I attended a Christmas party where the host got too...

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 21:29:49 -0800

Last night I attended a Christmas party where the host got too drunk and had to cut things short at 12:52. As an enthusiast of all things weird, this upset me because the party was just on the cusp of unusual when was abruptly terminated. I was taking notes at the time. I made the host “sign off” on the finishing of the festivities. As you can see, he started to write his real name, then opted for a completely un-connected scribble of his nick name. He even spelled it wrong.

The Billard Bobo Bio

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 10:22:37 -0800

My good friend and old roommate, James Edmondson, and I created an imaginary person. This person was the result of not taking 100% responsibility. Anything that went wrong or was weird quickly became the result of poor Billard Bobo. Soon after Billard Bobo (sometimes referred to as Billard Bobes) began to become more popular, I finally decided to give him the notoriety he deserved and create a wiki page dedicated to Billard Bobo and his life. Much to my dismay, I found that the wiki page was taken down shortly after being published, but I soon found another community that was happy to accept the bio called hubpages.com where the article now resides.

Thanks for reading.

WARING: What you are about to read my surprise you as being extremely weird.

“Billard Bobo, or Billard Bobes, (born 1975) is a guy who crashes parties and wreaks havoc on any fun situation he possibly can. He is usually out to get the most successful of beings. Billard is very sneaky and is very careful about letting himself be seen. He prefers to do his dirty work at night. On most occasions he will try and trip the unsuspecting from a bush. With lightening quick reflexes and unbelievable speed, he is almost impossible to catch. Revenge is never an option.

As a child, Billard Bobo was abandoned and left for dead by his mother Margarette Bobo. Billard’s father was thought to have been named Jack, but being a crack addict, he was never to be found again after conception.

With the possession of such unbelievable agility and vitality, Billard soon was adopted by a wolf pack where he first began his mischievous actions on baby sheep. Billard is thought to be mentally retarted or ill. In Billard’s adolescence he quickly grew bored of nature and made his way to society. He brought along with him his trickery to bring down the victorious, fortunate, and prosperous of individuals.

Billard is thought to now reside in the brush of inner city and suburban areas awaiting for his next prey. It is believed that he picks and chooses certain people and groups to haunt for long periods at a time.

Billard Bobo can sometimes be heard yelling “It pays to be poor!” from the depths of the shadows.

This is an excerpt from Wikipedia.com (the deleted articles) “

I actually found someone at work that doesn’t try and fit...

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 14:36:27 -0800

I actually found someone at work that doesn’t try and fit in with the 30 and up business casual culture. Every now and then you can see these pink slippers walking down the halls and even across campus! Her cube is totally another story with pink lining and everything from 5 years worth of barbecue sauce to nfl trinkets. This is weird.

I am color blind. Not completely, but to the point where I have...

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 09:02:49 -0800

I am color blind. Not completely, but to the point where I have a hard time determining browns from greens. Sometimes I do things like this and don’t find out until later on in the day with just the right lighting.

This is a letter I received from the Blog Master. In case you...

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 14:10:51 -0800

This is a letter I received from the Blog Master. In case you can’t see the text it is says the following:

“Dear Graceford. I am your secret admirer. I am old and hairy and I love to stare at little girls. Will you go camping with me so I can rope you? Love, The Scary Hairy Man”

How do I respond to said letter?

PS It does say “Rope” not “Rape”

My brother saw this old guy on the street and texted a pic of...

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 08:38:13 -0800

My brother saw this old guy on the street and texted a pic of him to me.

Stink Rag

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 14:52:00 -0800

Sometimes, a child’s habit will continue on into adulthood. This is Ian. Though almost 30 years old, he still “stink rags.” Stink ragging is a process of fiddling with a t-shirt til it tears apart into little nubs. I believe it started as a blankie compulsion that expanded. Pretty weird.

Cameron Edmondson is a one of a kind gentlemen. As an aspiring...

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 13:04:00 -0800

Cameron Edmondson is a one of a kind gentlemen. As an aspiring comedian in San Francisco with good looks and an eye of the tiger work ethic he can go from charming to tard in .05 seconds. Amazing.